(Source: elliepenelope)
Anonymous asked: I'm not trying to be a dick, but how are you still dating someone who cheated on you? i was in the same situation, and i just couldn't handle it. how can you?
its one of those cases where you try your hardest to pretend it doesn’t bother you. in all honesty it eats at me every single day, but you have to sit back and figure out if the other person is worth giving that second chance, are they worth all that pain and anguish that your going through. it hurt, probably worse than anything has ever hurt me in my entire life. but i’m taking a gamble and praying that it’ll work out.
Anonymous asked: you deserve good things. you deserve to smile, laugh and enjoy the moment. sometimes people get so caught up in being the best, doing the rights things or realizing in the morning that you're going to hate yourself for what you are about to do. But you shouldn't have to worry about those things; you should just be living. when the world goes dark and there's no one around to compliment you or tell you everything is all right, that's when you step up and tell yourself those things and believe.
Thank you
I promise you
On the inside I’m a complete mess. My whole life I’ve had some vague idea of what I wanted. But now I don’t have a clue. But I can’t fall apart now. My whole life I’ve just fought and fought for what I wanted, and even though not a single damn thing went the way I wanted it to I kept right on fighting, and figuring, and working my way around or through obstacles. I have a good life, not the life I thought I wanted, but it’s still a really good life. It’s just after all that fighting and working i’m exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. But I know that if I quit fighting, things will go horribly awry. But even if I fight I don’t get what I want anyway. I’m just in this eternal state of apathy now. I can’t see a bright side anymore, a best case scenario. I need to relax and recharge, but that’s not how life works. I need someone to save me from this unbearably negative hamster wheel of a thought process I’m stuck in. But that’s not how life works either is it? No. You don’t show struggle, you don’t show strain, you don’t show your exploitable weaknesses. You shut the fuck up about it, square your shoulders, wipe the dust off and show the world your smile, cause the big red and yellow shield on your chest with the huge “s” on it, means you fucking have to.
